• Dr. Jill Bakke

A Natural Emotion

Anger is a natural emotion, but many of us are afraid of it. We all get angry sometimes. Fear, annoyance, disappointment, frustration and stress can all cause anger. Actually, we can’t get angry unless it involves something we love. And anger doesn’t have to be harmful. We can direct it in positive ways. Properly handled, anger can lead to clearing the air and resolution of the problem leading to it.

Anger has two faces. One looks inward and destroys you. It leads to addictions, depression and suicides. The other looks outward and destroys others as well as us. It leads to broken relationships, violence and murder. Ignoring anger is never a good solution.

Next time, we will talk about positive anger. For now, let us look and see how we can diffuse our anger at another. Here are a few ideas:

Take a time out. Simply stop what you are doing when the anger arises. Remove yourself from the situation. Give yourself time to think more clearly. Take a walk or exercise.

Learn to use positive self-talk. Consider what could have caused the situation which angered you. Some things are not meant for us personally, but we take them that way.

Understand why you are angry and think of ways to better address and cope with the situation.

Write about what angered you in your journal. Use a clear statement: “I am angry because,” and the make a list of reasons why this makes you angry. Can you identify any mistaken attitudes or convictions that lead you to become angry in the first place?

These are temporary solutions. Download my free e-book for more lasting ways to understand anger and convert it into a positive emotion.

REMEMBER—There is only one person in the world that has the power to make you angry. That person is you. You chose your reaction.

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