Anger is natural; how we handle it makes the difference. When we understand that anger is really a secondary emotion that stems from fear or hurt, it is easier to work with anger feelings. Anger can destroy us and others, but we can also turn anger into a positive offering.
My free ebook Understanding Anger can help you learn new ways to deal with anger, yours and others’.
We need to start by avoiding Dirty Fighting, such as
Physically assault others
Scold, lecture and verbally abuse others
Criticize and blame others
Cuss and call names
Use sarcastic remarks
Displace your anger on other people than the one with whom you are anger
Nurse your anger by holding grudges
Use the silent treatment, cold stares, eye rolls and sighs
Manipulate the other
Masking a put down with humor
But we also need to understand how not to turn anger on ourselves by
Turning to drugs, food or alcohol to numb our feelings
Denying anger, thus stuffing our feelings
Physically injuring self
Shutting down and numbing out
Performing reckless acts such as driving too fast
Blaming self and mentally and emotionally beating up ourselves
Running away from the problem
Keeping stored up anger and thus never getting closure
If you handle your anger by doing the same thing repeatedly, learning new positive responses can change the situation. If one person changes, the other naturally changes. I challenge you to be the change agent and to challenge your reactions. There are many tools in Understanding Anger to help you achieve this mastery.
Remember, it is OK to be angry. It is what you do with it that counts.