• Dr. Jill Bakke

Understanding Anger

Anger is natural; how we handle it makes the difference. When we understand that anger is really a secondary emotion that stems from fear or hurt, it is easier to work with anger feelings. Anger can destroy us and others, but we can also turn anger into a positive offering.

My free ebook Understanding Anger can help you learn new ways to deal with anger, yours and others’.

We need to start by avoiding Dirty Fighting, such as

  • Physically assault others

  • Scold, lecture and verbally abuse others

  • Criticize and blame others

  • Cuss and call names

  • Use sarcastic remarks

  • Displace your anger on other people than the one with whom you are anger

  • Nurse your anger by holding grudges

  • Use the silent treatment, cold stares, eye rolls and sighs

  • Think revenge

  • Manipulate the other

  • Masking a put down with humor

But we also need to understand how not to turn anger on ourselves by

  • Turning to drugs, food or alcohol to numb our feelings

  • Denying anger, thus stuffing our feelings

  • Physically injuring self

  • Shutting down and numbing out

  • Performing reckless acts such as driving too fast

  • Blaming self and mentally and emotionally beating up ourselves

  • Running away from the problem

  • Keeping stored up anger and thus never getting closure

If you handle your anger by doing the same thing repeatedly, learning new positive responses can change the situation. If one person changes, the other naturally changes. I challenge you to be the change agent and to challenge your reactions. There are many tools in Understanding Anger to help you achieve this mastery.

Remember, it is OK to be angry. It is what you do with it that counts.

Understanding Anger is free. Download it here.

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